Scared

(an older piece)

Is this real?
I ask myself
Can it be real?
Is this too good to be true?
I am happy, is it wrong?
I’m so afraid because happiness like this is frightening
They say, they only let you be so happy when they are going to take something away from you
Will he go away, like they all did before?
Will he leave, will he break my heart?
Should I risk it, or run for my life?
Should I fall under his spell and then into a deep abyss of hurt and betrayal?
I’m so tired of being hurt again and again and again
I’d like to feel wanted…
No, but I’m too scared to love
Too scared to let go
Too scared to lose myself in his eyes
To melt in his embrace
Oh, but it feels so good, so good when I’m around him,
When I take in his heady scent
When he talks to me in that damn-assured voice of his
It was the music that brought us together
Will the music take him away?
I think I’m in love but I’m afraid to say it out loud
They may hear me, I may jinx it
I may say something wrong and just blow it all away
This is precious to me, fragile
This feeling I’m feeling
I’d like to cherish it; forever
Truth is, I’m scared

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6 thoughts on “Scared

  1. Its sad when the people who give you the best memories become a memory.
    But you need to stay strong and cherish the memories instead of being scared.
    If you’re scared, how will you make new memories? Memories which will be better than the previous ones?
    Its not wrong that you’re happy. Be happy, and stay happy whatever happens.
    I’m there for you. Always. :)

    Like

    • Bryne,
      How very well said. As always :) Sometimes I have this vague fear of remembering only negative memories. And I don’t want to do that. At least not intentionally. The time I shared, the connect I shared, for the sake of that feeling, I want to revere and cherish it. But I don’t know, I can’t summon that up anymore..?
      Be happy and stay happy… Easier said than done. I will try. You know I am trying. It’s not easy.
      All good things come to an end.
      I know. Thank you. :)

      Like

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