To Cupid

I’m waiting, Cupid.

Have been patiently waiting since the last three years.
Each time he ran away, whenever I shared my burdens, my fears
He ran away just when I fell for him. A different “he” each time.
Each time a death-knell chimed.
I’ve been shattered, scarred, pushed
Yelled at, betrayed, crushed
Lied to, humiliated
Neglected, cheated
Yet I picked up the pieces, and pieced my self back together again
Lying to myself that the one I need was just around the corner
Love who once was my life had now become a foreigner
I created illusions,
Shunned company, embraced seclusion
Because that was the only place where I was accepted
There wasn’t any warmth, the darkness never rejected
I created shadows of my own
To my soul, false promises I’d shown
Told myself my king would soon enter and claim his throne
Surrounded myself with people, yet I was so alone
Plastered a fake smile
Had to fake a facade of joy
Cupid where have you been all this while, boy?
Why do you desert me with such disdain?
I’ve built myself again but I’m going insane
What have I done to deserve this, save dream,
Of happiness, security; oh Cupid you’ve made me scream
So loud, yet only the silence of loneliness hears me.
I’ve so much to offer, so much to give freely
I only ask to be his, his one and only
I want him to look at me with pride and say, “There goes my girl!”
I want nothing in return, no gifts, no pearls
Just his unconditional love.
I just.. I just want to feel wanted, needed for once in my life.
I can’t hold out much longer.
I’ve tried becoming stronger,
But now I’m numb. Paranoid, even.
Love doesn’t seem right.
It hasn’t done me right.
I shiver from cold and fright,
Yet you are nowhere in sight.
Why are you letting my suffer so much in self-doubt?
Haven’t I cried enough tears? Haven’t you heard me shout?
Well, I’m ready to risk it all.
I know I may fall once more,
But what I know for sure
Is that I’ll rise
Once more I’ll grow wary, once more wise
But for now, can you just give me assurance,
Peace of mind? I’m well past my endurance
For once I want to believe in the magic and power of love
Be kind to me, one who sits watching from above.
Have pity on me, Cupid.
Let me not be hurt, I beg you.
I’m waiting.

I’m waiting, Cupid.

(In reply to Off Target, by Shawn Price.)


4 thoughts on “To Cupid

  1. you’ve been shattered and yet the glass though sharp, sparkles. Even when the stars surround, there is loneliness in the blackness of the sky. The façade is for the very minor shallow people who might have a snide remark or two, but they are so shallow and know nothing of the shadows of sadness. Yes, speak everywhere until someone knows there is something to be told about love that is not at all an obvious silliness but a conversation.


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