I Am

I am the unspoken words on your lips
I am what makes your heart tingle with magic
I am the rush of blood in your veins
I am your release from this world’s cumbersome chains
I am the crease of your worried brow
I am the sorrow you never let show
I am the pride that holds your chin up
I am the hope in your eyes
I am the wild voice in your head
I am the courage in your steps to go that extra mile
I am the soft sighs of frustration
I am the screams of exultation
I am the one truth you can’t deny
I am yours, and you are mine,
I am the love of your life.

 

Fluid.

My heart is heavy, but now it is free.
I stumble in the darkness, but at least I can see.
Water is insipid but it cannot be stitched.
Ignorance is bliss, so let’s pretend you don’t exist.
Let’s pretend we never kissed.

Sunlight and silence don’t really go well together,
Just like you and me.
The blows of your words turned my heart into steel.
Steel turns into resolve that cannot be caged.
The still of the oceans soothes a heart full of rage.

Water may be insipid, but at least it flows and is free,
I am lifeless, but at least I am me.

Wishes (1)

I want to laugh and let the stars shine in my black eyes.
I went to be held close and hugged tight, enveloped in your warmth
I want to be kissed and melt in your arms
I want to be touched everywhere.
I want your magical hands run up and down my back – shiver!
I want to be giddy with desire
Longing for you,
Thirsting for you
I want you to tug at my hair lovingly and tuck it behind my ear when I smile at you, stroked when I lie in your arms, and brushed away from my face
I want to fall back on you when I fail
Lean on you when I cry
Hold on to you when I’m crippled
I want you when I’m in the kitchen, brewing a pot of coffee, snuggling behind me
Whispering my favourite tunes in my ear
I want to cuddle up with you on a cold wintry day
When I go to sleep I want to know that no matter what, my darling, you are there for me and always will be.
I want to walk your miles with you, hand in hand
and cheer you on when you go that extra mile
I want to remain silent, standing quietly beside you
Watching the rain patter outside our window
I want to revel in the warmth of your body near mine
Your hand in mine, my hand on your chest, marvelling at the rhythmic rise and fall
Gently exploring the contours of your body, the way strong muscle has been weaved together by His hands – a true miracle!
And then I’ll sigh,
All I ask
Is to be trusted, honoured, cherished, respected and loved
I want to be your one and only
I want to be your heart, your soul, your life
I want to be the one who takes your breath away every morning as you awake to a new day.

False Hopes (It’s All A Lie)

Miss you
I’m so tired of fighting you
I’m so tired of fighting myself
I just want to
Want to crawl back in your arms and feel alright
Feel pity on my plight
I’m a pathetic sight right now
I want to feel safe
Not empty and hollow
Your absence is hard to swallow
Where you go, you know I’d blindly follow
But please, don’t take advantage of that.
Your ab sen  c    e
Is a shock
Now realization dawns
In this night of despair
Like a moth I’m drawn
To your false light – do I dare?

Miss you
Holding the shell-necklace you gave me in my hands
Its knots, endless, twisted and twisted
I can’t make head or tail of it
You were twisted too
And I was messed up
We promised we’d make each other alright
You’re fine now, I guess, I judge.
I’m still messed up
Creased, crumpled, crushed
Tossed into the waste-bin carelessly
Carelessly you let me go
You let me slip and fall
Now I pound at the walls
I’m uncared for
Yet, I miss you.
You were my drug, my elixir.
I was addicted
And my piano lies neglected
I haven’t played in so long
It’s gone, our song
Miss you
I do
Love you – I can’t say
But come back
I’ll make us some coffee
We’ll share a bar of chocolate
And laugh at that overused joke once more
Then everything will be alright.
I hope.

Hush, Now (The Little Death)

Speak softly, my darling
Quiet, not a word now,
Let’s fight no more.
Hush, listen to the
Sounds of silence, the
Oblivion, the
Darkness, of
Loneliness
Out of which we arose
Like a phoenix, from the ashes,
The embers will never die.
The passion we shared
Will never fade…
The warmth; we warmed each other
The cockles of my heart, melting
The cold, hard snow of the years, thawing
The warm ray of sunshine
You came into my life,
We filled the deafening silence with
Our music
Our laughter
Half smiles and downcast eyes.
In your arms I lay (till the storm passes)
You held me close (till the wind ceases)
I thought you would never let go…
A cool zephyr blows, now the light glows
Together we’ll soar into the sky
Above the miserable clouds (with no silver lining)
Up where the sun shines upon on our faces
The wind beneath our wings
We’ll laugh together,
We’ll mock those jaded, cynical beings
Who mocked us.
They were just jealous
We’ll prove them wrong,
Our love will.

Come to me.
Speak no more.
Precious, fragile, delicate hearts
Can break under harsh words, under pressure
Hush now, let’s nourish
The little we have left
A measure of music, half of merriment
A sprinkling of the shards of the past…
Hold my hand.
I’ll shroud you in my affections
Smother you with my love
Choke you with my words
Close your eyes with my kisses
Put you to sleep with my songs, my voice
And when you rest I’ll let go
And you’ll slip back into oblivion.
Peacefully.
Unknowingly.
And I’ll return to the shadows I know too well,
Existing, not living
Covered in cobwebs (of illusion), star-dust
Surrounded in shards of my broken soul
Each reflecting, magnifying the hurt, the pain,
Singing the song of silence (it’ll echo)
Till I rise again